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| My home baked mini baguettes. |
I want our dinner to be wonderful tomorrow but I am proceeding with caution. The last time I hosted a dinner party one month ago I was in frantic tears in the kitchen an hour before. I've read about this phenomenon but it had never happened to me. What was different?
Well I think my menu was over-ambitious to begin with: a vegetarian feast with 5 dishes including stuffed crepes as well as my home baked mini baguettes.
My house was quite messy and so was the garden. It was the garden that sent me over the edge, it was lovely weather (not exactly reason for tears!) but when I looked outside to contemplate setting the table out-of-doors I was confronted with mess and crap everywhere, as well as weeds and grass that needed cutting. Waaaaagh!
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| A close-up of the baguettes: I added dried fennel to the dough as I was also serving a fresh fennel salad. |
Finally MrBP, who was working out of town and so couldn't be blamed for this commotion, arrived home and lent me a hand and most importantly words of encouragement and praise. The dinner really did turn out quite splendid, though I have to say it left me feeling a little wobbly.
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| Crepes, an old picture on an evening when I wasn't having a nervous breakdown. |
Well I think the lesson is to keep it simple and embrace the warm weather: main course salads can be prepped ahead of time and thrown together at the last minute. A cheese course can be served, buying cheese is very easy. So is buying dessert!
So here's my menu for tomorrow:
Dinner Menu To Avoid Crying
Spinach Salad with Lemon Vinaigrette and Smoked Rainbow Trout
Roasted Mini Red Potato Salad with Kalamata Olives, Roasted Tomatoes and Feta Cheese
Waldorf Salad with Celery and Walnuts (My dear friend Ade is bringing this, bless her.)
Cheese Course with Crackers and Fresh Apricots
Carrot Cake with Walnuts, Cream Cheese Frosting and Candied Ginger
I've already purchased everything and the cake sits in its box in the refrigerator, it looks so comforting. I bought a small box of candied ginger squares which I will sprinkle on top of the cake. I do love candied ginger.
I'll put the potatoes in to roast when we arrive home, adding in the tomatoes and olives for the last 20 minutes, the only real cooking I'll have to do. The feta gets thrown in at the last.
How do you avoid crying when you host a dinner?
Do tell, and in the meantime have a wonderful weekend.
xoDani
I laughed all the way through this, I love "Dinner Menu To Avoid Crying"!
ReplyDeleteI never ever ever have anyone over for dinner, I'm not a good cook and didn't even find my way to the kitchen till I started blogging and copying what you were making!
Oh yes, I don't do it because the one time I did, I sat on the floor in tears beforehand!
ReplyDeleteHee hee - your twin.
Tabs oh no! I've learned it's impossible to cook when crying. Chefs must have nerves of steel. No wonder you've never done it again, if this wasn't for my friend Ade I wouldn't either. Not only is she bringing a salad but she is very kind and calming, you'd love her. Oh she's from Ireland and has such a wisdom about her.
DeleteHello Dani:
ReplyDeleteDearest, dearest Dani, we feel that you need a much more carefree approach to entertaining. Your Trout and selection of delicious salads with shop bought cake sounds absolutely perfect to us. No guest, however much of a friend, is worth tears unless they are of joy. In the past, we have thrown away every course, we have scraped food from the kitchen floor, we have had to remove traces of what we were serving from our hair but we have never been reduced to tears, except of laughter. Make sure the wine is good and plentiful, serve it with largesse, if outside wear sunglasses to avoid close inspection of the garden and enjoy!!!!!
Hello Jane and Lance, what good advice I shall take it!
ReplyDeleteThe night I cried in the kitchen we were having very good friends around who would never want me to suffer. I think it was a combination of things including the fact that I was lacking a celebratory glass of wine while making my crepes.
In the future my goal shall be to cry from laughter not despair!
Hi Dani - the mention of Waldorf salad just made me think of Fawlty Towers! I, too, think that preparation is key. Unfortunately, I don't really like preparing too far in advance because then I run out of space in the fridge. I think the best thing is to keep it simple and also to make a timetable. That way you can be sure that everything gets done.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely weekend!
I've had several small dinners lately but have not thrown an all out party since an episode almost a year ago. My husband is a self-employed consultant, so whenever he doesn't want to do anything around the house (such as tidy to prepare for guests) he can say "I have to Work." That left me desperately scrambling to finish the buffet dishes, clean the house, tidy the garden, wipe down the patio furniture, etc. The capper was the deviled eggs, however. Among our guests was Public Official and Local Business Magnate Mr. X of X Eggs Farms. And the damned hard-boiled eggs would not peel! They were falling to bits under my anxious fingers. I was very nearly weeping when I shrieked that "I can' serve these X Farms eggs to Mr. and Mrs. X!" I have since learned it's best to use slightly old rather than perfectly fresh eggs for hard-boiling. And I covered the mutilation with some parsley . . .
ReplyDeleteMy fool-proof spring entertaining menu is roasted salmon, asparagus, and wee baby potatos. It all is made at the last minute, goes in the same oven at staggered intervals, and gets the hostess off the hook.
That would be CAN'T serve.
DeleteThis looks fabulous and am impressed at the baking and wonderful menu. I am into assemblage, am the total idle hostess, just whacking everything together from local deli. Easy peasy pork in raspberry chipotle, lemon and oil roasted veges and watermelon and tom salad. That's pretty much it, sad to say.
ReplyDeleteI'm copying down that no-more-tears menu verbatim! Cooking for a dinner party is always so much more stressful than cooking for the family---the make ahead and/or buy it philosophy is the best. Hope you have a jolly time with your friends!
ReplyDeleteHi Dani,
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear I'm not the only one that worries when I start looking around before guests come. One way I've been able to relieve some of the stress is having the children help me out more. I don't feel so overwhelmed and they are learning a valuable skill, and feel so proud of themselves. Many times when we're in a time crunch my husband steps in and makes Beef Paprikash which can be made up hours a head of time. Then all I have to do is come up w/ side dish. I'm amazed sometimes of how easy the process has become compared to times past when I had a more labor intense menu and insisted that I'd do everything myself.
The most helpful tip I ever received had to do w/ my Thanksgiving menu. Timing is everything when it comes to Thanksgiving especially w/ the potatoes. Now I never have to worry because a friend told me I can make them earlier in the day and put them in the crock pot until dinner time. AMAZING, and if someone has seconds the potatoes are just as fresh as the first round.
Oh Dani, I've been there with you. All my family holiday dinners are kind of that way, but I'm beyond the "tears" stage these days, I am merely so harried from all the cooking(my mom usually brings homemade rolls, bless her) by the time everyone arrives that I've completely turned all hostess duties(greeting, putting up coats, getting drinks, etc) over to my sweet husband and it seems to be OK with everyone. I'm so sorry you cried-I know you just wanted everything to be perfect. It does make me feel better about my garden to know yours has weeds also-tee hee! The best dinner I can remember having with friends at our house started out as cheese, crackers and iced tea and ended with impromptu chili cheese dogs and Coronas. Hope it all turns out fabulously.
ReplyDeleteEverything is so amusing in retrospect, isn't it??
ReplyDeleteMy saving grace for entertaining with friends is that however amateur a cook I may be, most of our friends don't cook at all, unless you count warming up food from Whole Foods!
I am also helped by my rule of never cooking for anyone I don't like, which really just translates into not cooking for a certain in-law who objects to my Japanese heritage. Hmph. I did it only once and I was a bundle of nerves and swore never again -- I should have just ordered sushi (the rawer the better) to see if she would be a good mannered guest and taste it!
I guess we can be summarized as you setting your bar high, and my setting my bar low! So I cannot offer you any pointers other than that you can never skip that glass of wine while cooking!!
Audrey, I'm coming to yours I love Whole Foods, that's a dream din dins for me!
DeleteAs long as your bar is low too, come over any time! I have three WF within 15 minutes so when dinner goes wrong, I can still have something on the table in an hour! (And wine, always wine. And martinis.)
Delete"How do you avoid crying when you host a dinner?"
ReplyDeletea glass of wine while cooking, and a thorough, therapeutic scrubbing of the pots and pans.
we have two lovely bakeries close by, so if bread or dessert fails, i can run up the street for replacements.
awww, mr bp sounds like a pretty great guy. if we are lucky, our husbands are our greatest cheerleaders, no?!
ReplyDeleteyour menu and enthusiasm sound delightful.
one tiny secret (not really a secret at all) is when assembling the salads, put the dressing in the bottom of the bowl and then the salad and right before you eat, toss it all up. nothing gets too soggy that way.
have a wonderful party! xo
Your menu sounds divine! It is a good thing you have not posted your address - you would have a stampede on your hands!
ReplyDeleteOh, Dani...don't cry in the kitchen. My kitchen tears are reserved for onion chopping only. I've been cooking dinner since I was about 12 so I'm pretty at ease in the kitchen and my DH is a champ. He'll grill anything I ask and usually does a great job. Your menu sounds delish! For guests I always stick to stuff I can make in advance and that I've made before. Sunday I'm making chicken breasts stuffed w/ a slice of buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil wrapped with a slice of prosciutto and grilled (similar to this http://bevcooks.com/2011/09/prosciutto-wrapped-chicken-stuffed-with-basil-and-cheese/), tossed green salad, farro with roasted squash, cranberries and walnuts and angel food cake with berries. It sounds fancy - but trust me - easy peasy. Plus my guests are all men and they're just happy to have a home cooked meal :-) Most of all, have fun!
ReplyDeleteI guess like most commenting here, I only serve what can be done ahead. The only exception is Thanksgiving dinner, which does find me in a big sweat and totally insane by dinner. Must figure out a simpler, easier menu for that holiday. I used to cook like a maniac, souffles, etc. and honestly, I know I didn't have a good time, and I sort of think guests sense the tenseness. I've realized that a good home cooked meal, a large amount of wine, and no chaos is what makes for a nice evening.
ReplyDeleteOh dear Dani, glad you can now smile about those unfortunate kitchen & garden blues! I think the most important ingredients to any event are a happy host, great music and/or conversation. Your weekend sounds like it's about what's really important, connecting with friends and family, not dazzling with feats of culinary wizardry. Like others have noted > Keep it simple. May not be for all but I like to have a theme - it could be a cocktail, a country, a colour, a guest's favourite dish, it helps me streamline and get inspired...Go for the flavourful, the proven and the memorable, skip the fiddly and extravagant. Write a checklist. Shop in advance and keep the pantry stocked with both basics and impromptu fixings. Set the table and pick your outfit at least a day or two before. Think like a chef/ caterer (everything set up on trays ready to roll, mise en place, blanched veggies, clean up as you go.) Ask for and accept help graciously - whether that's a bakery, a friend's contribution, a partner, a bartender for that holiday open house. And remember so-called perfection gets in the way of enjoyment. And laughter is the best cure. Right before the guests arrive, put on a favourite song and pour yourself a refreshment. You've already done what so many people don't these days, shared your home and hospitality. That deserves a toast!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I am such an introvert, I try to avoid having guests over for dinner if I can help it. I have been through the stress enough times to know what that feels like! If we really do have to have company over, then I cook everything well in advance (no dishes that require last minute cooking!!) and my husband does most, if not all, of the prep work like washing and chopping vegetables.
ReplyDeleteDani - I hope it all goes well! I don't typically get stressed about dinner parties as I try to take a very balanced approach and cook as much as I can in advance. My recent titanic party, which was 9 courses, did almost do me in. It was fun, but I was cooking for almost 7 hours it was exhausting! I think your menu sounds wonderful and will be wishing you good luck!
ReplyDeleteThere's no crying in the kitchen! My worst fear is that I'll make a lovely pot of (something good), and forget to serve it. This seems to be a family failing, it's happened to me and my sister, and we still laugh about the vat of baked beans that Mom had to scrape out of the oven a few days after a backyard barbecue. Your menu sounds lovely and light-hearted, and I'm sure all will be blissful. By the way, nobody missed the beans.
ReplyDeleteI am sure your meals are delicious, I am stealing some of the ideas for dinner tonight and tomorrow, than you! I don't stress over dinner parties, but like others , I only make what I already tried multiple times and nothing that is a last minute risk. I bake sometimes but for dinner parties I always buy the dessert, one less thing to worry about. I love WF but not their deserts, I think they are very mediocre for the price. Happy Fathers Day to MrBP!!!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up with a dinner party to avoid crying. Last night we hosted our daughter's grad party. I cook for 2 days and baked for 40 university grads. I'm totally exhausted and my husband just said we have only 2 beers left. Lots of dishes to do today and our daughter loved it !!
ReplyDeleteOh I went through this last Sunday with our BBQ, of course that day happened to be busy with other obligations and I didn't have much time to prep stuff, so I had to keep it simple with a BBQ menu and a slow cooker appetizer....a strong cocktail helps to calm my nerves. When our friends arrived, they brought their son over (who is 5) and he wanted to play outside in our backyard, which is also full of weeds, grass wasn't cut etc, no flowers planted yet ... we had not planned to sit outside anyway since it had rained earlier in the day and we didn't want anyone to view our jungle-esque yard, but since our friends just readily volunteered for their son to play outside, we had to go along with it. Arrghhhh
ReplyDeleteHubs always says I put too much pressure on myself when entertaining, because I want to do a good job and prove that I can take on these feats...sigh...it always works out but I know it is best to stick with tried and true easy stuff to serve to guests, and if I have to buy some store-bought stuff, who cares. Just doll it up at home, I don't have to be an entertaining martyr!
oh and another thing I can't stand from guests is the constant offers for "help" in the kitchen when I am getting the appetizers ready to serve and the 2 minutes of plating feels like half an hour to them. Just drink your cocktail and sit tight!! lol
DeleteI love my friends but those little comments from them almost sends me over the edge!
How's this for a disasterous dinner- Three years ago I gave 8 lovely friends and myself salmonella. And yes, it was the salmon! Everyone survived, but I haven't hosted a dinner since then.
ReplyDeleteUPDATE on Dinner Menu To Avoid Crying!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wonderful comments guys. I don't have much time as it is Father's Day morning but I wanted to let you know that the menu was brilliant and it was so easy. The easiest dinner I've ever hosted. Another tip for cocktail snacks instead of appetizers: throw out some salted nuts like cashews or even peanuts instead of getting anything fancy together. That tip is from my MIL who always prioritized sitting with a cocktail over time in the kitchen!
The salads were delicious and easy and left room for the cheese course followed by some tea and the carrot cake, the candied ginger sprinkled over the top of the cake was everyone's favorite.
We had a great time and there was absolutely no crying!
Have a great day and thanks for taking the time to read and comment, you guys are the best.
I hope your Father's Day feast went well-- I think it sounded fool-proof.
ReplyDeleteYour hilarious account of tears in the kitchen brought back a memory of when we were first married and had an older couple to dinner, he a colleague and she a very good cook. I served salmon with 2 olive butters a la Alice Waters, but needed to use the broiler as it was raining. Dessert was raspberry individual souffles ( I would never do this now!) and,yes, left the oven on broiler setting. Several minutes later our lovely guest tentatively inquired if there could be something burning in the kitchen. We had a good laugh, though,unroofed the charred caps and poured cream over the perfectly OK bottoms. Lesson learned-- make ahead !
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